The human race seems to have been pre-programmed to talk, and talk and talk incessantly. From the very first moment that our long distant ancestors emerged blinking from their cave dwellings and needed to communicate “mine will be eggs, beans and don´t skimp on the dino-sauce this time, thanks for asking” our jaws have not stopped moving. Unfortunately when it comes to sales this is something that we in business coaching are continuously attempting to train out of people.

Sales people love to talk, some love the sound of their own voices, some are on a mission to spread the word that they and/or their company/product/service are the best anyone´s ever seen, and some have just been taught that you don´t stop talking until the customer signs on the dotted line. Our business coaching often involves consultative sales training to show that there´s a time to talk, there´s a time to sell, and there is a time for silence in a meeting. There are an almost boundless number of sales training courses out there to teach you how to present, how to close, how to convince, and how to cajole, but very few if any on how to handle the pauses, the silence which can make or break you as a sales person.

Often business coaching involves stripping back layer after layer of personality, ego, assumption and poor training to start again with the techniques and methods that modern business best responds to. Silence is a negotiating tool, it can be unnerving for the uninitiated, and it can be used to great affect by both sides in a meeting.

Have you ever gone for the close and the potential customer has left you hanging? You´ve just presented the pitch you´ve given a hundred times before, it´s polished and word perfect, but they just sit there silent as the grave. As the seconds tick by they feel like hours and you become more and more convinced that you´ve not said enough to win them over. The fear takes hold and you start to think they need more convincing, that there must be something you missed out, you remember your sales targets and how far away you are from achieving them this month, you break the silence, and they´ve won.

The business coaching that we offer a customer´s sales team teaches them to recognise the purpose of the silence and to know when to stay quiet. If you´ve said your piece then it´s the client´s turn. Breaking the silence is like a red rag to a bull in the hands of an expert negotiator. They´ll know you´re overly keen, inexperienced, and nervous and this can be used against you. Before you know it you´ll have renegotiated the deal before they´ve even had a chance to reject the original proposal.

If you´ve ever been in a situation with someone you´re looking to impress – maybe it´s a boss, a board member, the CFO or a client – and they leave an “uncomfortable” silence how have you dealt with this in the past? Most of us would try to fill the silence with conversation. Business coaching teaches you to be self disciplined about what you say and when you stay quiet. It teaches you to wait it out until the pauser re-engages the conversation.

We do not however restrict our business coaching to showing sales people how to control their urge to talk. We also teach them how silence can become one of the most powerful sales tools in their arsenal.

A sales person´s pause has a different purpose altogether from the one we´ve been discussing. Someone who´s being sold to uses the pause to unsettle the salesman and negotiate a better deal, but the purpose of a sales person´s pause is to listen, to draw the customer in and to acknowledge that they are the most important person in that conversation. No amount of business coaching can teach natural charm, but what business coaching can achieve is an understanding of timing for the on/off switch on your charming offensive.

So to summarise – when you´re pitching, always leave space for the customer to tell you what you need to know so that you can more effectively sell to them, and when they leave a pause never break that silence or you´ve lost before the meeting´s even ended. The urge to talk will still be there, it´s imprinted into our very genes, but you can learn to restrain the inner voice that demands to be set free. Sales can often be all about self control and controlling the silence.